Exercise & Nutrition | How to Manage Darker Days

This is part two of a series on how I manage my anxiety. Read the introductory post and see the rest of the posts here

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. And it’s rarely been about health.

It’s been more about how my thumb traces a why-so-high number across measuring tape that encircles my waist. More about how I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that extra handful of chips (okay, extra seven handfuls…), but I was stressed–okay?–and it made sense to numb the mind. Besides, I would make up for it by an isolated sweat session (no pre-work, no follow up), because that’s how I’d become the number, percentage, waist-to-hip ratio I always wanted.

That was my idea of health. Unhealthy, I know. Continue reading “Exercise & Nutrition | How to Manage Darker Days”

Counseling | How to Manage Darker Days

This is part one of a series on how I manage my anxiety. Read the introductory post here

I remember his office. He had a beautiful wooden shelf covering the left wall and a sunken couch with pillows to hide behind. Every visit, he asked me to grade my relationships with my four parents. He was kind and asked the right amount of questions.

If I think harder, I can remember even earlier, at the age of 7, speaking to a woman in a playroom. I remember the color yellow. I can’t recall her voice, but I remember answering questions while playing with plastic toys.  Continue reading “Counseling | How to Manage Darker Days”

How to Manage Darker Days

A question I’m often asked: “Do you have anxiety like every day?”

Yes and no.

Yes, I have anxiety every day, because, well…I have anxiety. Every day. It doesn’t go away, really, any more than asthma goes away day-to-day. There are things that bring it up some days that don’t even happen on others. Continue reading “How to Manage Darker Days”

Why You Should Keep Trying Even When You Already Failed II

Read Part I first here

Last week I shared how I’ve been feeling like a failure of a writer. This is the conclusion of the three truths I want to be engrained in my mind.  Continue reading “Why You Should Keep Trying Even When You Already Failed II”

Why You Should Keep Trying Even When You Already Failed I

Can I skip the whole start-with-a-great-sentence-thing and just tell you what’s on my mind?

I feel like I’ve failed at writing.

(sigh)

I started this blog, bursting at the seams with ideas and creativity and longing for articulated lessons and ideas to bless others. But now, not even 10 months later, weeks go by where the only connection I have with this space is the peripheral guilt of oh yeah, I need to do that, too..  Continue reading “Why You Should Keep Trying Even When You Already Failed I”

Why Teaching Helps My Anxiety II

Click here to read part I

Weekends are the hardest.

Paradoxical, this teaching. Monday to Friday is a blur of preparations, gone before dark, back with the sinking sun, washed dished, and (mostly) dreamless sleep. On Fridays, two of my English scholars have the same prayer request during worship: that the weekend goes by slowly. 

And it does. Painfully slowly.  Continue reading “Why Teaching Helps My Anxiety II”

Why Teaching Helps My Anxiety I

I wish everyday ended like today.

It’s Week of Prayer, and I’m high on words of affirmation. You see, I’ve been taking some days off to finish my Master’s observations at a nearby high school (it’s a long story…sigh), therefore preventing me from relishing in my classroom as much as I’d like. Today was one of the few that I could stand for hours that race past.

“She’s back! You guys, she’s back!”

Their joy is palpable. Their smiles, sincere. My heart, bursting with gratitude.  Continue reading “Why Teaching Helps My Anxiety I”

Why I’m on Facebook but Ignoring Your Texts: Anxious Confessions

I think MLee and I were mutually pleasantly surprised by how much we have in common; verily, we still are. She’s kindly joined me in today’s post, bringing much insight, honesty, and MLee-ness.

C: Glory of glories, I got a job! A big girl job, too, complete with a salary contract, healthcare, and retirement saving percentages (whatever that means, right?). (M: YES! So proud.) Continue reading “Why I’m on Facebook but Ignoring Your Texts: Anxious Confessions”

Exceptional Loneliness

For the last four years, my education has been online. Taking online college courses has allowed me to accelerate completion, spend months abroad for service, and schedule work without issue. I learn through reading and writing, and that’s what online education is. It works remarkably well for me.

However, there is one major drawback. Continue reading “Exceptional Loneliness”