David and I have now been in the same physical spot for the longest amount of time in our relationship: counting since his week trip without me in January, we’re at 8 months, which is 3 months longer than our previous record from our dating days. With the addition of him working from home since March, we have been seeing a lot of each other. And honestly… I’m loving it. I’m kind of hoping he works from home forever.
There were a lot of things that I looked forward to when we got married: no more long distance, physical affection (let’s be honest), going on adventures together, living our lives together instead of having to share it over long voice notes. But over the last few months, there have been some unexpected blessings: things that I didn’t really think about until they happened. Here are three of them.
I’m a goal-oriented person, and David gets a regular briefing on all of my latest goals, new habits, and strategies. He knows what an ideal day looks for me and what can ruin it. So even though it might annoy some people, I absolutely love his gentle promptings and reminders to stay the course on my goals.
For example, I hate going to bed after 10:30. I don’t sleep as well, and it’s harder for me to start the next day on a good note. The other day, David walked past my open office door around 10pm and he noticed I was mindlessly scrolling through reddit. He simply said, “Hey babe, it’s getting late. You should get ready for bed so that you’ll feel better tomorrow. I love you.” And then he walked away. Sweet but convicting. And I knew he was right, but his extra push was helpful.
Another example is that I have so little self control with social media. Some people think I have a lot because I’ve deleted almost all of my accounts; but that’s actually because I know I don’t have self control. I’m just self aware about it. The way I still have an Instagram is I’m only logged in on David’s phone. So I have to ask him to use his phone. He’ll also notice if I’m on it longer than 30 minutes (which is more than I need), so he’ll ask for his phone back. And voila! I haven’t wasted three hours scrolling through the lives of people I don’t know. It’s great!
As I’ve said in previous posts, I don’t do well with change. I like my consistency and my routines. Even going to see family for a week or two — which I absolutely love! — is hard for me sometimes because I’m living in a new place, with new meal times, and new expectations, etc. What I didn’t realize though, is how much it helps me to have David go with me everywhere.
If I’m visiting family, he comes. When I go home, he goes, too. Wherever I am, we still sleep in the same bed together, start our mornings together with a short worship, and I can walk over to where he is if I need to talk through something. As an introvert, I thought I would hate this, but I actually love it. I think it’s because we have good boundaries in our home and reasonable expectations of each other. I love, love his consistent presence in my life.
Maybe it was because I heard so many people complain about their spouses, but I saw marriage as a relationship that would double my workload in every way: laundry, dishes, cooking, flight expenses, etc. And although that’s true, I didn’t take into account the helpfulness of my husband. The work is doubled, but I’m pretty sure he does more than his share of the work (and he’s said he feels the same! Although I’m the one who’s right, so). Even though we have double the amount of dishes, I do them mayyyybe once a week. And although there’s double the amount of cooking, I would cook even twice as much more to hear his wonderful affirmations of everything I make. It’s a joy to cook for this man.
Even if I technically have less time to accomplish certain tasks, he gives me back the time threefold with his accountability (helps me use my time better) and affirmation (a happy heart does wonders).
Have I mentioned that I love being married to David? It’s one of the greatest privileges and blessings of my life.